whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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