weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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