i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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