I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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