dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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