Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize