i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize