we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize