that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
