How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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