You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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