Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
