i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
