oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
