I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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