Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
