In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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