I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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