Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
