i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
