tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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