i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
