we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
