well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
