I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize