his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
