I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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