weddingsv make me drug and hornr
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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