she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I smell like Dick and happiness
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
