guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
