At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
