I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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