did you get engaged???
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
