Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize