You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize