Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
