my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Of course I have a pirate flag
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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