saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
