i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
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