i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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