You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Randomize
