Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
