I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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