Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry penny_lane hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(201): View more from New Jersey

they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.

Fav 22 4460 2448
share tweet
(323): View more from California

Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.

Fav 22 7034 954
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(661): View more from California

i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..

(951): View more from California

u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!

(661): View more from California

i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u

Fav 40 8504 1226
share tweet
(740): View more from Ohio

i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.

Fav 55 8653 1428
share tweet
(303): View more from Colorado

How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend

Fav 18 4865 1495
share tweet
(925): View more from California

Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.

Fav 7 1950 683
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(770): View more from Georgia

My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.

Fav 4 777 960
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(773): View more from Illinois

And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.

Fav 2 638 421
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(224): View more from Illinois

These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.

Fav 1 24 66
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT