He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
