it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
