happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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