somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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