This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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