i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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