I bet he comes in French.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize