never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
