Kiss
Puke
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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