Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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