Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
