I wanna passion pit in your ass
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
