I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
