I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize