so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
