I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize