God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just invented taco cereal.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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