didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Ladies don't puke and tell
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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