HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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