u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
areolas are like halos for boobs.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize