I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
PANTIES FOUND
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize