If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
