Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
