we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
