he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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