is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
