Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
false alarm. still invincible.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Randomize