accomplished twins. life is a go
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize