I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
