Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
