yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
We don't watch enough power rangers
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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