I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize