A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You're like the curious george of whores
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize