around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
